Welcome Pri-mates

‘Chaos is a friend of mine.’

— Bob Dylan

Hey Prime-Mates,
So, I know you’re already down with the idea that the first humanoids had a rad diet and exercise regime. But did you also know that they were mad travellers? And when I say mad, I mean crazy, like wandering from Africa to Alaska kind of crazy.
Sounds batshit insane, right? I mean why leave the fertile grounds of the African savannah to go off to the freezing cold of Alaska?
Well, obvs, it’s cos that’s what we crazy cats called humans love to do. We’re built to move. We go where the wind takes us. To seek out the food. Explore. Find the nectar and suck the life out of that shit. And if that means trekking to Alaska, then that’s what we do, man.
You see where I’m going with this, yeah?
The Primal Guy is on the move!

Yep, I’m headed for new pastures. New horizons.

Places where they’ve never even heard my name.
But that doesn’t mean I’m going to forget you guys. No way, no how. You know what? I’m actually gonna take you on my journey, thanks to the wonders of this thing they call the interweb.
Now, I’ve gotta plan, and it’s going to get a little hairy, but you gotta stick with me okay?
As the great man, Bob Dylan, once said, ‘Chaos has always been a friend of mine.’
Or, as the Primal Kid, Talia, would say, ‘Chaos has always been a BFF of mine.’
Peace out dudes.
Ryan (AKA the Primal Guy)

PS Super-awesome two-for-one offer going on for our uber-popular Smash It! Green Smoothie powder.

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How to Get What You Want

Hey there, Prime-Ministers,
You know how many people like to run me down for trying to live by pre-historic principles? A shit-load. ‘The world’s moved on, man. You can’t actually go kill a woolly mammoth. It’s the 21st century.’
Dude, I know that.
What I’m about is learning from the past. Like, there’s this book you’ve probably heard of. How to Win Friends and Influence People. It came out in 1936. Yup. It’s ancient. But people still talk about it, because it’s the biz. Okay, so it’s nearly 300 pages long and I know you’re a slave to the man and haven’t got time to read it, so I’ll give you the bottom line – if you can get people to like you, they’ll do what you want them to.
Next problem – how do you get people to like you? It’s not that hard. You be nice. Smile. Use their names. Give compliments. Don’t insult, shame or embarrass them.
In other words, be a bit of a pussy.
Now, you know me and you know I’m no kitty-cat, but when I have to, I can suck up with the best of ’em. I’ll tell you something.
Right now, I’m sucking real hard in this new place. But that’s okay, because it’s going to get me where I need to be – right in the sweet spot where people are going to let down their defences, and let me in. And then I can really raise hell.

Peace out,
Ryan (AKA the Primal Guy)

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Burn baby Burn

Hey Prime-Mates,
Switch your brains on, dudes! I’ve got a question for you.
What’s the most important thing ever invented in this world? The thing that contributed most to human evolution?
Now, I know most of you will say ‘the wheel’, right? But dude, you are wrongity wrong wrong wrong.
It’s fire.
Okay, so I know that humans didn’t actually invent fire, but we did have to work out ways of creating and controlling it, which we did, about 600,000 years ago. Man, it was a total game changer. Suddenly, the primitive dudes had a way of keeping warm, they could move to colder places, cook food, make better tools, defend themselves, hunt for animals.
This stuff was the bomb. It still is.
From a little tacker, I’ve always been crazy-obsessed by fire, probably from the minute my oldies put a birthday candle in front of my face and I tried to eat it.
Fire can be friend and foe. It can be an end or a beginning. Hope or despair. All depends how you see it.
But I’ll tell you one thing for free. It’s never boring.
Peace out,
Ryan Devine (AKA the Primal Guy)

Reinventing Yourself

Hey Prime-Numbers,
A stack of dudes (and dudettes) come to The Primal Guy because they wanna reinvent themselves. They say ‘Ryan – how’d you do it, bro? How’d you go from being a douche-bag soft-arse pen-pusher, to being a lean, mean, pre-historic fighting machine?’
You know what? I could give them a bunch of BS about how I was miserable in my job, and felt like I wasn’t living my best life, and you know, crack out the violins and cry me a river.
The truth is this – I wanted to look at myself in a mirror, and like the way I looked in the buff. That’s it! I wanted to look good naked, and I wanted others to admire me. I mean, can you get more superficial than that?
But hey, it worked. 300,000 followers can’t be wrong, right? We’re all pretty surface-level, when you get down to it.
Now I’m in this new place. And I’m having to reinvent myself all over again. Sometimes, it’s tiring, you know. Sometimes, I wish I could just be the tired, grumpy, lazy dick that’s still hiding inside me, somewhere.
But no one wants that guy. They want the Primal Guy. Actually, they want Primal Guy 2.0. The ‘evolved’ paleo guy. And hell, I can do that. I’ll dance however they want me to dance. ’Cause at the end of the day, it doesn’t matter which way you get there, it just matters that you get where you want to go.
Peace out,
Ryan (AKA the Primal Guy)

PS Buy one smoothie bottle, get one free for this week only! So great for shaking up smoothies Mon–Fri, then cocktails for the weekend. Hey! A little cheat
every now and again is okay by me. No one’s perfect, right?!

Black Swans

Dear Prime-Timers,
Okay, so don’t drop your phones when you hear this, but, I have news! I’ve been reading. I mean, I’m always digesting the latest and greatest in food and nutrition. But this was an actual book, by my home-boy Nassim Nicholas Taleb. That dude is like the Jesus of the new millennium. You know he predicted the big crash of 2008? Seriously. The guy’s a freak.
Anyway, in his book, he goes back a few hundred years to when the first white dudes turned up in
Australia and discovered this crazy looking bird. It was a swan, but it was BLACK! What the freak? The only swans they’d ever seen were WHITE. They couldn’t believe their freakin’ eyes. It was insane. Hectic. I mean, who’d have predicted it?
But, that’s life, right? Shit happens, and we never see it coming. It’s so predictably unpredictable. Jobs, love, fire, floods, accidents, death – who knows what’s around the corner.
All we know is that we don’t know what’s coming. And, boy, am I learning that. This trip is pushing me so far on the inside I can almost see my own a-hole, and it ain’t so pretty, even with an a-bomb diet.
But here’s the thing – if you know that shit never quite goes how you want, you’re already ahead. If you’re quick and agile and strong, you can cope with any black swan that flies your way. Disasters aren’t the time to bunker down, they’re the time to get moving.
You just gotta be ready to be brave, reach out, grab those wings and fly high.
Peace out,
Ryan (AKA the Primal Guy)
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Hey Prime-Ordial beings,

How hard is it to be away from the people you love most in the world? I’ll tell you. It’s frickin’ hard. I miss being a family so bad it hurts. Like really hurts, in my gut.
But it got me thinking. Why? I got food. I got water. I got people around me. But something’s missing. My family. But what makes us want to stick together? To commit, forever?

’Cause in the beginning, it wasn’t like that. It wasn’t like that at all. We were basically animals, after all, and it was all about the law of the jungle. The strongest dudes. The toughest. The meanest. They were the ones who got all the ladies and got to procreate with them.
But something changed. The weaklings wised up. They figured out that if they had something to offer the females – like better food, or shelter – then the chicks would dig them more and – here’s the biggie – they’d stick with them.

Monogamy was born. It made, like, total sense, because now the mums also had a partner who’d be around to help out with the kids, instead of being out sewing his wild oats. And it was good for the tribe, ’cause kids could be hard work – couldn’t walk, couldn’t talk, couldn’t get their own food – but now there was this thing called a family, and people were co-operating and, you know where we’d be without co-operation and new generations of kids? Nowhere!
Okay, so now it’s different. Now, there’s a million and one choices and distractions and it seems like it’s harder than ever to make a commitment and stick to it.

It’s not. It’s natural. It’s evolution. It’s how we got here.

Peace out,
Ryan (AKA the Primal Guy)

PS: Running a 50% discount for this week only on my manifesto: ‘From Pen-Pusher to Primal Guy’. 378 pages on how I ditched the corporate life and claimed a new one by touching my inner homo-sapiens.